Decide or Die

Let me tell you right here that this post will NOT give you an idea about how to go about being a decisive meticulous perfectionist, because the person writing this (a.k.a me) has difficulty in choosing between two t shirts that are same in every way.

This is the threshold that I'm standing on right now, and the amount of pressure and criticism that I give myself over deciding on a career, a direction , and a plan is far more humongous than anyone else can put on me. It's not just me (which is a relief,if you ask me). Adulthood takes a huge bite out of everyone.

The ones who have a plan, or are willing to take a lot of  risks definitely make it in the end. It's no rocket science. No Ted talks are needed to decrypt the secret of success. All the books and motivational talks have been looking and thinking inside and outside of the box, but there is no box at all.

Yep. No box here,fellas.

It is a table.A gambling table,with you at one end and the universe at the other.It's all just a gamble, and the universe is just playing with you to see how much you are willing to put on stake. The more you put on the table,the more you can hope to win or loose. Of course, here comes all the talk about getting out of your comfort zone, growing and all that stuff that I read about in Pinterest , and pin, but never seem to be able to act on.

It's just about fear. It all comes down to how scared you are of loosing a battle against the world, and against yourself. The little things each day - waking up latter than you planned, binging rather than working, sleeping in , not hitting the track when you thought you would run like a badass everyday. The little things , when not achieved makes you doubt your own capabilities of claiming the world. It builds up until you go back to the wheel,you turn yourself into a cocoon again after being a caterpillar ,on the way of being the butterfly (with prefer able blue wings because they are just lit). 

The thing is,who wouldn't be scared,you know? The smallest of choices set a series of chain reaction into action,. The big decisions weigh on your expectations about yourself. Like I said, adulting is like being the legendary Icarus, but except for his wings, you get curtains on your back, and hope to fly. Poor you.

Overthinking and self degradation won't get you anywhere. It won't make you a better decision maker, not it will make you cautious. You know what will? Deciding. Decide - right,wrong,terribly pathetic,the glorious ones, the ones filled with humility,the ones a little selfish . You will get the hang of it.

It's like math, the more you do it, the more you learn the "how" of it, and even then it can end up being wrong ( and also because math makes my head hurt  ).